Pages

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Dear Dog- I’m Sorry I Suck As An Owner Now





Dog,

Three years ago, you cuddled around my ever-expanding belly. I pet you and rubbed you and laughed at the “haters” who said once my kid was born that you would become a dog. We went on long walks, and I took you to the dog park, and I fed you on the regular.

My how things have changed, and it’s my fault, and I’m sorry.

You’ve always barked at squirrels and cats and people walking by. But when you warned me of the deadly squirrel in our yard three weeks into having a new baby and while I was running on very little sleep, I wanted to punch you.

And when you chased after another dog one morning while we were having our daily “chalk and bubbles” time outside, I just let you go. I only had enough patience for one of you, and the baby won. I used to chase after you, worry about you, drive around shaking a box of treats, but I didn’t that time. “Bye!” I waved sarcastically and went back to scooping the chalk out of baby’s mouth.

And there were days my newly walking 18 month old would find his way over to your water bowl and pick it up and pour it everywhere. Some days I had the energy and patience to correct him, clean it up, and correct him again, and clean it up again, and correct him again. Other days, I just put your water bowl up on the counter, out of his (and in turn, your) reach. Sorry about that.

We haven’t been on a walk in God know’s how long. We don’t go to the dog park because I have to constantly make sure my kid isn’t stepping in dog poop or being humped by a dog. I got tired of those “who brings their baby to a dog park?!” glances, so we just stopped going. I know you loved it, and I’m sorry.

As he grew, you were so patient with him, You let him pull your tail and chase you around the house. You never snapped, not even a growl or snarl. You just let him bother you into you were tired of it, and then moved along.  You let him crawl all over you, try to put hats on you, and sometimes the two of you even play hide-and-seek. It’s very cute. Thank you.

Life is so busy now, with him in daycare and me at work that sometimes I get home and realize we are out of dog food. So I give you a bagel and left over rice, pat your head and promise to get some tomorrow. At the end of the day, when all I want to do it sit and stalk people on Facebook, and you give me that “I have to go potty” face, I just can’t. So I ignore you, and then you lay down, and I mindlessly refresh my Facebook feed, until you come back and ask again. AndI huff and puff and tell you how annoying it is that you have to go out and let you out for 3 minutes. And in the back of my mind I know you just want to chase lizards and smell grass and enjoy the fresh air, but if you haven’t peed in 38 seconds, I’m ready for you to come back in. And I’m sorry.

And I’ve got more bad news for you. You’re about 3 months away from another demotion. Down the totem pole you go to make way for baby #2. And although I’m sad for you, I know you’ll be okay. You’ll love and protect this one like you did the first. And you’ll put yourself last, all the time. And every time I come home and ignore you, you’ll still meet me at the door, tail a’waggin.

Because you’re a good dog. and I suck as an owner. And I’m sorry. And my hope is that when the kids get bigger, we can do the things that good dog families do. Trips to the dog park will be feasible, I’ll designate one of them to feed you twice a day, and maybe we will even go on walks again.

Until then, thanks for hanging in there.


Your Owner


No comments:

Post a Comment