The nurse mentioned something about "so for the next 9 or 10 hours...." and I wanted to die. I wanted to quit. I could NOT handle this much pain for 9 or 10 more hours. Then the most important question was asked "'have you thought about pain medications..?"
Heck yeah.
They told me my options, and we decided to go with the full epidural. I went up to the delivery room and they gave me the shot. I had one more contraction and then didn't feel a thing after that. From 9:00 am to around 4:00 pm I slept, drank apple juice, had visitors and hung out with Sarah. They gave me pitocin to speed up the contractions when I was staying at 5 cm for a long time. After the Pitocin things went really quickly. Every time they checked me I was more and more dilated. My water broke, the nurses came in and started getting everything ready. I started crying.
I. was. so scared.
I didn't know what to expect or what to do. I didn't know how long it was going to last, if it was going to hurt, or how it was going to turn out. We decided we just wanted it to be us in the delivery room, no friends or family. The scariest part was the breathing. I had to hold my breath and push so hard for 10 seconds, and then all I wanted to do was breathe and I had to take a quick gasp of air and do it again. I didn't know how much progress I was making or if I was doing anything. After about 30 minutes, Sarah said she could see the head, and we were so close. A few more pushes and the nurse told me to reach down and feel his head. I thought that would give me a burst of energy or make me feel less scared, but it really didn't. I was still so nervous!
And then, at 5:38, with a final push, he was out! I remember opening my eyes and the midwife was placing him on my chest and he was so beautiful. I cried, Sarah cried, and of course Dawson cried. It was perfect. He immediately put both hands on my chest, pushed his head up, and started looking for the nipple. We laid there for an hour, skin to skin, and it was the best moment of my life.
They took him after that hour and weighed him (8 pounds, 10 oz) and measured him (20.5 inches)
Family and friends poured in to meet him, and at 8:00 we moved to the recovery room. The nurses brought him back to us and it was just the three of us. We were all exhausted because we hadn't slept in a day or so, and of course he was up every hour or so.
The nurses came in throughout the night to check on him and on me, and we were up checking on him to make sure he was still breathing. We attempted (and failed) to swaddle him like the nurses did, and just ended up waking him up and making him mad.
The next day the doctor asked us when we wanted to go home, and we asked if that day was an option. He said yes, and we were discharged Tuesday evening around 7:30. We put him in his car seat, loaded him up, and drove home. I had a little bit of a freak out when we got home, when it started to settle in that he was home, with us, and he was ours, forever.
Now, Dawson is 9 days old, and we are all loving being a family. Sarah and I make a great team, and both love spending time with our boy. I cry watching her pace the living room, rocking him and singing to him. I cry looking down into his sweet little face. He sleeps a lot, eats a lot, and has short periods during the day where he is alert and awake and loves to cuddle and look around at everything. He is so small and so perfect. I love being his mom.
He's a pretty good sleeper, but I'm still up two or three times during the night to feed him. Sarah only has 2 more days of school left and then she's off for the whole summer. I can't wait to spend the summer as a family! :)
So that's the Dawson story. He's here. And we are so blessed. He's amazing.
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