This morning as we went into your room to play, I slid your mirrored closet doors together so that I couldn't see my reflection as we played on the floor. When I reached across you to help get something out of your reach, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and grunted out loud.
"Gross Dawson, look at your mom. So disgusting." I said sitting back in my place, out of view of the mirror. I stewed in my self loathing for a while as you giggled and talked and crawled and pulled yourself up and squealed with pride.
And then I said out loud to you:
"No, Dawson, your mommy is not gross or disgusting. She is a child of God and her worth is more than her pant size or the number on the scale. These extra pounds do not define her. I am your first female role model, and if I teach you that women are important because they are skinny or pretty, I am doing a disservice to the hundreds of beautiful women of all shapes and sizes that you will meet during your lifetime. I'm also doing a disservice to you by teaching you that its okay to say negeitive things about yourself and your body.
Mommy carried you for 9 months ( and 4 days) and her body is changed. She can work hard and make good choices to improve her self image and self esteem, but even then it does not make her any more important or valuable in the eyes of God and in the eyes of the people who love her.
I want to raise a man who supports and encourages women to feel beautiful in the skin they are in."
I'll admit, I didn't jump right back in front of the mirror, but I changed my attitude about the way I talk about myself in front of you, and will be more careful to make sure you hear about all of the good and positive qualities your mom has.
Love,
Mommy
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