Mom cont.

I sit in the hot bedroom and the only sound is the constant hum of the oxygen machine.

To my right, a life ending. In my arms, a life just begun.

To my right, the one who gave me life, in the arms, the one who gave meaning to my life.

How can the beginning and the end be so literally feet apart? I look to my right and I cry, I look down in my arms and have a porky, smiling, brown eyed blessing staring up at me and can't help but be consumed in his face.

To my right, the person who made me who I am. In my arms, my opportunity to take all she's given me and pass it along.

To my right, someone sleeping. In my arms, someone sleeping.

As impossible and horrible it is to watch her finish this journey, it's exhilarating and promising to watch him start his.

God's timing is impeccable.

Dear Dawson,

When you were a little baby, you had a beautiful grandmother that loved you very much. She held you and talked to you and told you stories and made you smile. She made sure you weren't too  hot or too cold, she changed your diaper, she played with you and  held you close to her heart.

You won't remember this grandma, because she's with the angels. But she looks out for you every single day, and she is so excited to watch you become a wonderful young man from Heaven. You can ask mommy and momma anything you want about grandma, they would love to tell you all about her and answer all of your questions. 

Even though you won't remember her, you must always remember how excited she was to meet you for the first time, how excited she was to hold you as a little little baby, and how important you are to her.

Mommy